


Reckless Abandon

by hallucinogeniccrush



Category: Private Practice
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallucinogeniccrush/pseuds/hallucinogeniccrush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had always been the sister she had never had, but was it something more than that? This is a tale of friendship, love, addiction, and betrayal. Starts at 3x19, Eyes Wide Open and continues on from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Private Practice.

She had always been the sister she had never had, but was it something more than that?  
  
Addison never knew how to react when Amelia Shepherd arrived unannounced.  
The sheer unadulterated beauty in her presence gave her goosebumps on sight. She needed preparation. She needed warning. If there was one thing Addison Montgomery did not do well with, it was surprises - especially those in the form of one of her ex-Husband’s sisters. The sister she never had. The girl whom she had been close with for so long, yet drifted apart as soon as the marriage had failed. Addison felt guilty about that fact; she had been so focused on getting her life back together, herself back together, that she hadn’t thought of the effects this severed tie might have had on the other girl. Her ‘sister’. Since moving to LA, she could honestly say that she hadn’t given Amelia a second thought - well, how could she? Her life had been a mess since moving there, well since before that, but she had been so caught up in all the drama, she had let herself forget. Forget the glare of those icy blues, forget the sheen of the dark mane of hair, the take-no-prisoners attitude. She could honestly say that she admired the girl, yes, that was it, she admired her. That was all. She was just surprised by her sudden appearance in St Ambrose Hospital, in LA, and in her new life. She was surprised. That explained all these thoughts and feelings that overcame her upon sight of the dark-haired young girl. Just surprise.  
  
Addison watched as Amelia challenged Ginsburg, watching the intensity in her eyes, in her body language. She had always been this way. Hurricane Amelia, they used to call her, and the name suited her fiery personality. It was hard to believe that this young girl, this spitfire, had grown up to become an accomplished neurosurgeon. Derek would be proud, Addison smiled. But Ginsburg didn’t like to be challenged. The doctor told Amelia she had lost her fellowship, and Addison watched the younger girl’s face as she accepted the news, seemingly brushing it off, and continuing with the task at hand. She also watched, as later that day, Amelia completed the surgery. There were complications, but she had made it. Amy had succeeded. And Addison was proud of her, but she needed to curb the recklessness that was so present in the younger girl’s nature. The recklessness that could possibly cause harm in the future, and presently caused Amelia to look as though she had quite a bit of self-doubt, even though the surgery had mostly been a major success.   
“Amy”, Addison began. “Nobody except Derek calls me Amy, anymore”, Amelia countered. Addison frowned.  
“Amelia, you froze. You’re reckless, and you freeze, and you are so doubtful of yourself sometimes, that I worry. You did an extremely experimental procedure, and it could’ve turned out so many shades of wrong, but you did it. And as much as I want to lecture you, you did it. And I am so proud of you.”  
Addison pulls the girl into a hug, and feels the tension in the air dissipate as Amelia relaxes into the embrace. She feels shaky at the contact, and so pulls back quickly and walks away, leaving the brunette staring after her, with what she can predict is a look of unadulterated, pure hurt.  
  
Addison didn’t ask why Amelia came home with her after the surgery. It just felt natural, and, she guessed, Amelia didn’t really have anywhere in LA to stay now that she had been fired. She sat down, Amelia taking the seat to her right. “I’m worried about you” Amelia frowned, pouring them both a glass of red wine. “Why?” Addison asked. There was nothing for her to worry about. Sure, she was in love with someone else, but so were so many people. She wasn’t special. “You’re with Pete, but you’re in love with Sam. Your best friend’s ex-husband.” Amelia looked at her with concern. “I’m love them both, Amy. I especially love Lucas.” She could feel the worry from her right without even looking into those blue eyes. The younger girl moved over, closer to Addison, and spoke in a hushed tone. “You’re settling.” Was she, though? Was she ‘settling’? She was in love with Sam, but she also loved Pete, and Lucas, and although the whole situation was complicated, she never really thought that she was ‘settling’. Although, now that this had been brought up in conversation, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Did she always just settle? She let her mind to drift to the past, to the many failed relationships she had been a part of.  
  
She felt a hand over hers. “Look, I’m sorry, Addie”, Amelia apologised. “I just don’t like seeing you this way. So..empty.” Amelia’s thumb stroked the top of Addison’s hand. She shivered. Pulling her hand back, Addison gripped the glass of red wine like a lifesaver. “I’m not empty”, She retorted, taking a sip. She allowed the bitter liquid to burn her throat before continuing. “I love Pete, I really do. And I love Lucas.” Amelia nodded, but Addison could tell that the younger girl was just trying to placate her, and that there was no real intent behind the action. Addison stood up, faking a yawn, and a stretch, hoping to end this conversation. “I’m wiped”, she began, starting to turn in the direction of her bedroom. “I need to get to sleep.” She didn’t wait for a response, and continued to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her and throwing herself onto the bed. It had been a long day. Physically and emotionally. And she really was tired, but she doubted that she would get much sleep that night.


	2. 2

She didn’t get to sleep.  
Addison tossed and turned, the events of the day taking their toll on her mind, rapidly firing thoughts and feelings that she really didn’t have the patience or energy to deal with right now, at this moment in time. She didn’t manage to get a full hour of sleep by the time the sun came up the next morning. Giving up on getting any rest at all, Addison rose at 5am, gently padding into the kitchen to get some coffee. She noticed Amelia, curled up, fully clothed, on her patent leather couch. She looked so peaceful. Addison smirked at the thought that this was perhaps the first and only time that she had ever seen the younger doctor look peaceful, this peaceful, at least. Amelia looked so innocent, her arms holding her knees to her chest, curled up in the fetal position. She remembered times when she would babysit Amy, when she was younger, and they would curl up on the couch, pretending to watch romantic comedies whilst actually reading Obstetrics journals under a flashlight. The two would more often than not wake up the next morning, holding each other’s hand, bodies close. Amelia wasn’t really that young, but still, she was thirteen years younger than Addison. It was like having a sister and having a best friend all in one. She missed that. Addison resisted the urge to join her, right there on the small couch, to let herself get caught up in the innocence of the brunette’s dreams, to relive the sleepovers of the past. Let the girl rest, Montgomery, Addison thought to herself, and picked up her empty coffee cup, walking over to the breakfast nook, and turning on the coffee machine.

She heard the shuffle of movement on the couch behind her as she sat at the breakfast nook, eating granola and drinking coffee that had long gone cold. Mumbling and soft cursing could be heard as Amelia stretched and sat up slowly, looking over her shoulder at Addison. “Morning, Addie”, Amelia called over the couch, standing and walking over to her ex-sister in law. Amelia would never understand how Addison could look so damn...well, so damn beautiful at 6am, dressed only in an oversized t-shirt and furry cat slippers, her short red hair tied in a knot on top of her head, loose tendrils flowing down her neck and her temples. Hell, Amelia had just woken up, fully clothed, with what she was sure were indents from the couch on her right cheek. She unconsciously touched her hair, and felt that her dark, long mane was indeed messy and in dire need of a shampoo. She was also sure that her eyes looked like a panda’s right now, due to the lack of make up remover in her handbag. She could’ve just used Addison’s, she knew, but she still felt somewhat uncomfortable as a guest in this home. In her home. Sure, Addison was still kind of her family, she always had been, but it had been years, about seven to be exact, since the neo natal surgeon had deigned to send her a letter, even give her a call. And as hard as it was for Amelia to admit to herself, because she tried to be so damn independent, so damn careless and, well, heartless, it hurt that the woman who had been such a huge part of her life had just disappeared out of it, without a second thought, without a word of goodbye. Amelia secretly hoped, deep down, that this unexpected visit could start something new between the two of them, a new chance. A chance to revisit their friendship, their sisterly relationship. A chance for her to feel loved again. Wanted. Truth be told, Amelia had spent far too much time screwing her way through medical school, her internship, her residency, she really needed some stability. She needed a constant. And that constant, the only one she knew she could actually count on, was Addison Montgomery.

Addison heard footsteps behind her and an arm around her shoulder; she turned to face her ex-sister in law. Even though she had slept in her clothes, on the couch, Amy still looked beautiful as ever. Even with the indents in her cheek from the couch cushions. “You look like hell”, Addison smirked, earning a joking glare from the younger girl. “Why thankyou” She retorted, “You’re a bit of a hot mess yourself.” She bit her lip as soon as the words left her mouth, flushing a furious red. She needed to change the subject. Amelia gestured to herself, then to the bathroom down the hall. “I smell like an airplane. Probably should go shower or something” She explained. Amelia began walking down the hallway, peeling her grey t-shirt over her head, revealing just a white lace bra underneath. Addison blushed as furiously as Amelia had moments before. Luckily, Amelia didn’t even notice, as she wasn’t facing her. As the younger girl unclasped her bra from the back, Addison could swear she felt her face heat even more. She put her hands on her cheeks, biting her lip. Amelia chose this moment to turn around, hands over her small, yet seemingly pert breasts (not that Addison was looking, or anything), and throw a smirk and wink her way as she dropped the flimsy white material to the floor. Amelia noticed the way Addison had reacted to her lack of clothing, and felt a shiver go through her system. She shook it out, and then looked back to her friend. “Um....Towels?”


End file.
